Goose and 5 goslings stomped to death, you know, in self defence

John Sanders, according to his mother, is “an industrial engineer who volunteers at a soup kitchen, goes to church every Sunday, and helps care for the family’s aging golden retriever.” According to a police statement in an article sent in by Pinky, John Sanders also stomped a goose and five goslings to death. Police allege that Sanders was angered after he was spooked by a Canada Goose and fell in the mud, while Sanders says he felt threatened by the widdle birdies. Threatened enough to chase them down and “flatten” them under his boots, apparently. You may speculate over the size of Mr. Sanders’ penis in the comments.