My vegan label reading training keeps my shopping semen-free

Maybe it’s just because I’ve already written about this, but when I saw the headline bull-derived protein could signal new hair care trend, why did I automatically think that it was a euphemism for bull semen? I swear, VP has made me into a semen spotter. I think it’s the next evolution in ingredient scanning – first you get good at spotting the animal product in the ingredient list, then you take it a level deeper by finding the semen that’s been cleverly renamed because apparently, semen doesn’t sell. So how do omnivores, who lack this basic ingredient scanning training, avoid semen showing up in their purchases? This is starting out in the cosmetics industry, but just wait: “how do you control your semen intake” is going to be the best new comeback for “where do you get your protein,” to say nothing of what it’ll do for the tired old swallowing question.