A former supermarket shelf-stacker in the UK has been sentenced to two months in prison after, well, mostly after being a dumbass, basically, but amongst the number of stupid things he did at work was licking a raw chicken and putting it back on the shelf.
This reminds me of the old joke which the internet has made new again, and which I stole from here:
A young man is walking through a small village one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old man, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, “Hey old timer, why the long face?”
The old man looks at him and points out the window, “See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me McGregor the dockbuilder? No, no.”
The old man continued, “And see that ship out there? I’ve been fishing these waters for my village for 35 years! But do they call me McGregor the fisherman? No, no.”
The old man continued, “And see all the crops in the farms out there? I planted and have been farming those crops for my village for nearly 45 years! But do they call me McGregor the farmer? No, no.”
The old man starts to cry again, “But you screw one goat…”
My point? YES! Being a vegan dumbass is WAY better than being an omnivore dumbass because this guy’s going to be a chicken licker for the REST OF HIS LIFE. Plus, way less risk of contracting salmonella or campylobacter, which Consumer Reports recently reported finding on two thirds of the chickens in the US.
The tragic paradox, of course, is that dumbasses are the least likely demographic to adopt a plant-based diet. Outreach groups, are you working on this one?
