OMGWFTBBQLOL, I forgot to do an episode of S4 last week. How can you have a feature called Species Sex Study Saturday that misses Saturdays? Historians will ponder that one for a good long while. Anyway, this is the day that we talk about animals doing it, or aspects thereof, because sometimes you just can’t make the right food choices without knowing if what’s on your plate has been denied carnal pleasures so that you might dine.
This week’s episode comes from Dagda, and the title alone makes it worthy: Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm.* This is from the National Geographic people, and if you had the same stack of back issues in your grade six classroom as I did, you know they can appreciate tits.
Of course, these tits are the bird tits, as in the things with wings. There is a link, it has been established, between the colour of a male tit’s breast plumage and the strength of his sperm, effectively advertising his virility in a way that absolutely does not translate to the human world, and I’ll thank you to stop looking at the size of my feet.
However, the article couldn’t resist making at least one link between birds and humans that’s VP-worthy: “free radicals are thought to be a major cause of infertility in people.” I don’t know how you can see a free radical, so I’m not sure where the parallel lies to support the statement’s existence in the article, but I do know that a plant-based diet is rich in antioxidants, which s like kryptonite to free radicals, so I strongly suspect that the National Geographic writer is a wannabe vegan pornographer, at heart.
* It’s worth noting that the page title can’t bear to sustain the joke and mentions birds, but this is balanced out by the URL, which just contains the words “great,” “tits,” “color,” and “sperm,” which sums up many a word association exercise.
(Photo by Gidzy)
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OMG, does this mean i got strong sperm? I guess men are obsolete now.
pew