Whoa, I almost missed S4 (Species Sex Studies Saturday) again! I honestly forget what day it is sometimes, because when you’re a full time vegan pornographer, you get to study how animals do it every day. Anyway, S4 is our semi-recurring feature where we investigate the sex lives of animals, on the theory that if people knew more about how different creatures get it on, they’d be less likely to categorize them as food.
At least, that’s what it says on my research grant. Mostly it’s just an excuse to indulge our inner 8 year olds.
Anyway, dolphins are praised as being highly intelligent, but it’s dangerous to anthropomorphize any non-human, so let me just say this: at least one dolphin has a thing for Jennifer Garner:
Most societies don’t consume dolphin meat, but sadly, as the oceans get emptier and emptier of what some consider food, fishing techniques will likely resort to bigger and bigger nets such as the purse seine, drift, and gill nets that pick up anything and everything in their path, including dolphins. We live in a world where industry has come up with “dolphin safe” labels for canned fish so consumers can know that no dolphins were killed to supply them with, well, dead fish, and somehow this makes it through the conscious consumer’s filters as an ethical thing.
At the rate things are going, in the future there will only be dolphins in tanks, which means only dolphins in tanks will be able to spray manifestations of their love across Jennifer Garner’s feet, and this is the basis for Reason to Go Vegan #812: in the ideal world we strive for, Jennifer Garner foot worship is the reasons oceans exist. If you can’t figure out what that means, don’t worry, there are at least 811 other reasons to go vegan, and that’s just from upcoming S4 posts. We haven’t even begun to track things like animal poop habits.
(via Ecorazzi, via Angela. That’s right, not every post is about creme eggs!)
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
That was pretty epic on the awesome level.
pew