S4: Foods that make humans make humans

by Jason on February 27, 2010

Today’s S4 sat in my inbox for far too long, what with it being a Valentine’s Day piece, but hey, it’s about food, particularly aphrodisiacs, and food is always in season. Erm, particularly aphrodisiacs.  While we normally focus Species Sex Study Saturday on the sex lives of animals, in the hopes that knowing how a being does it will make it harder to think about how to make him or her into pie, it’s worth noting that humans are animals too.

Oh, and like there was any doubt: this week’s link came from reigning S4 monarch Dagda Samildanc.

So, to the point!  Gradually, anyway.  Here’s “the hunt for an edible alternative to viagra” according to the New York Times.  Wanna know what’s not a turn on?  The lead-in picture of some women eating salmon topped with fish eggs.  Yeesh.

There are, I’m sure, some pro-animal and some ant-veg quips in there, but my mind is scanning text at the rate of 4 gigavowels per second looking for tips I can share on how to, as I am prone to saying, “make more vegans.”  And so, the money quotes:

“Chili peppers, for example, quicken the pulse and induce sweating, mimicking the state of sexual arousal, as well as stimulating the release of endorphins, which play a role in sexual pleasure.”  What?  I like spicy food.  Just because I now know why doesn’t make it less enjoyable.

“Plant-based foods have historical reputational significance because they either work or look like your junk.  Animal-based foods were valued more because they were rare or expensive.” [paraphrased, obviously, or maybe not so obviously - it's only a matter of time before journalism cutbacks makes my writing talent worthy of the Big Boys, right?]

“Garlic contains an amino acid that enhances blood flow and could augment erections.” The phrase “Augmented Erections” is now in my head and will remain there long after Pew checks to see if the dot com is available.

“the aroma of [some fruit, never mind, the next item is My Thesis] caused a sharp drop in [sexual] excitation among women, as did the smell of meat cooked over charcoal.” All-vegetable kabobs aren’t just for breakfast, yo.

Seriously though, (OK, maybe not so seriously,) if you’re looking for a seductive meal, I recommend serving some kind of sports drink and some protein gels. Your date will appreciate the attention to his or her hydration.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Pew "Diddy" Willows February 28, 2010 at 2:04 am

Well this gem fall directly under the category of tasting better: supposedly men who drink pineapple juice right before a date have irresistible tasting junk…I’ve heard…(but I want to hear more)…

In life, you are defined by what you doo

pew pew [laser beams]

Pew "Diddy" Willows February 28, 2010 at 2:08 am

And, dammit man, I have NO more money for awesome domain names.

Unless you start to give me a stipend….

pew

VeggieTart February 28, 2010 at 11:01 am

For the record, from experience, I can tell you that garlic works for the ladies in the, uh, lubrication area.

Jason March 1, 2010 at 10:09 am

I’m learning that there are two types of people in this world: those who can’t visit someone’s kitchen and see a pineapple without giggling, and those who just see a pineapple.

Hamish McBookersons March 1, 2010 at 1:41 pm

And let’s not forget Monty’s avocado: http://veg.ca/content/view/772/1/

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