OK, yesterday we examined the link between veganism and cybercrime (conclusion: no link!), but it turns out that was just setting the stage for today, where we look at the just-released national rankings for penis size and compare them with restaurant listings, just like yesterday:
(And by the way, this is my JOB. How did your day at work go today?)
OK, at first the linkage looks bleak. In fact, it seems like there might be a bigger link to cybercrime and penis size than anything to do with veganism, BUT THEN I REALIZED SOMETHING!
There are way more vegan women out there than men. Based on Facebook signups for VP, TasteBetter, and SpawnBetter, the ratio is around four or five women for every man. Women – and maybe I should put spoiler alert here, I don’t know – don’t have penises. Generally. This clearly skews the stats and provides additional possibilities.
I hereby open source this line of inquiry, which is geeky talk for “I don’t want to work any harder on this and if you don’t like the depth of my conclusions it’s your own fault for not joining in.” Figure out what all this means in the comments!
Also, I pinky swear that I will not look at any city rankings of any kind for at least 48 hours. I just couldn’t resist when I saw today’s link, is all.
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“Women – and maybe I should put spoiler alert here, I don’t know – ”
reads a lot better in your head as
“Women – and maybe I should put spoiler alert here: I don’t know – “
When the time comes to teach my son about women, I’ll be sure to start with “I’m pretty sure they don’t have penises.” He’ll have access to the Internet Archive, so there’s no use hiding my ignorance, really. Also, in a few minutes Angela will inform me that I will not be leading that particular discussion, because she also has internet access.
aww the poor things all have chains round their necks :’(
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