There’s a school of thought in journalism that an article isn’t “working” unless it divides an audience along strong polar opposites, and I’m convinced that ridiculous food posts can have this effect, often inside the same person. With food posts, I try to evoke, on the one hand: “oh, that’s disgusting, why would anyone do that?” and on the other: “quick, check the ingredients, it might be vegan!”
There’s another concept in journalism called burying the lede, which I am clearly doing here. Oh, if only your browser had some kind of scroll bar that would let you skip past my ramblings to get to the actual link! Be warned: if the accompanying photo didn’t clue you in, today’s story may induce labour among non-pregnant people.
Our final tenet of journalism for the day is that Vegan Porn decidedly isn’t. Journalism, that is. But I couldn’t find any good axioms about bowel surgery, so I went with something writing-related.
Anyway, back to the mix of revolt and relish: I think it’s just that a lot of you don’t have a vegan grocery store in your neighbourhood (cue Simpsons reference: “haven’t you been to space? You should go!”) and simply don’t realize the vast quantity of crap that’s available to vegans because it’s rarely assembled in one place. There are people in this world who’ve gone vegan simply because they thought it’d help them abstain from cheezie poofs or whatever their animal-derived addiction is. These people are soon living in a town called Woe, for junk food is everywhere.
And so we go now to our link of the day: The 10 Craziest Food Abominations of All Time, which was sent to me by Brian, who previously pegged VP as the perfect place to talk about violence at McDonald’s. Some of the desserts could probably be veganized, and some of you will no doubt try.
Oh, and it turns out I spoke about some of this stuff back in ‘ought eight:
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Damn it! You’ve thrown the gauntlet down… and I can’t resist. I’m totally going to make a vegan pancake wrapped sausage! I’ll make it from scratch though, so there will be no preservatives. I refuse to eat a seitan and fakin’ bacon double down though- you have to know your limits.
Erin, I just checked out your blog and you’re definitely qualified! Be sure to send me a link to some photos when it’s perfected!
Ahh the life of a stay at home mom… Done and done. I can’t believe I got it so quickly! Jimmy Dean has nothing on me.
http://meatfreemom.blogspot.com/2010/04/food-abomination-challenge-vegan.html
Erin, I’m going to channel Bart Simpson at the blackboard for a moment:
With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility. With great power comes great responsibility.
And that’s awesome. Though I’m not a fennel fan. But that’s awesome.
I just stumbled on this post of yours that I hadn’t seen before, and I gotta say Jason, your hair has gotten much better over the years. Thanks for losing the emo kid/hipster swooshy bangs. I kinda wanted to attack you with some sort of cutting device, anything to get rid of it. Hope you guys are all doing well. I’m missing my dose of VP and stayingvegan.
Haha, I never thought of it so much as emo/hipster as simply clueless about hair care… Things are OK here, I miss a lot of stuff but I get to do a lot of new things too, hope it’s going great in Amandatown!