Cock.
I share this for no other reason than to gleefully mock those who propogate the “soy makes you gay” rumours: the president of Bolivia has declared that it’s chicken consumption that’s to blame for both homosexuality and baldness in men.
It turns out his theory didn’t come from a misunderstanding of the many uses of the word “cock” in English, but rather from a misunderstanding about hormones added to animal feed. I’d go deeper into the science, such as it is, but it’s pretty irrelevant since many countries have banned the use of hormones in poultry anyway. The ban was probably for health reasons, incidentally, but I doubt “Fear of Gayness” was one of them.
Anyway, he’s an idiot, clearly, but this is the first time I’ve seen chicken “linked” to baldness, so here’s an opportunity to make fun of my favourite cult science meme – the Sharks Don’t Get Cancer book. If you’re new here, the idea is that because sharks don’t get cancer, you should eat shark cartilage and you won’t get cancer either. By the way, sharks do get cancer, but still, there’s now nothing I fear more for the animal advocacy movement than a bestselling book of burger recipes called Cows Don’t Have Combovers, positing that since there are no bald cows, we need to eat them.
And by the way: on the soy/gay thing, to be honest, I think it’s encouraging. 20 years ago, it was vegetarianism that made you gay, according to idiots around the world. I like that we’ve gotten a lot more specific, since it’s a whole lot easier to disprove something like that. The next step will probably be soy eaten with a certain type of fork, and then the remaining scienticians will be laughed off the stage and we can keep enjoying the same meals we’ve been eating all along, with our boyfriends or girlfriends or whoever we like to hang with.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I think this is hilarious. I just ate at BoJangles. I didn’t have chicken though. So, what’s left is that I had already eaten something healthier at home. Grapes and Jelly biscuits trump Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuits anyday but “gay-ly” enough salt is more addictive and tempting than “good” food anyday. So, the logic trail leads me to find that Sharks probably get cancer because they live in the ocean (most of them anyways) and technically they are “addicted” to the salt? This seems logical. The question is why do I have to eat BoJangles when I could be satisfied NOT to eat it? I Have to admit I ate it before work because I thought it would make me stronger during the day, the classic “Kid eats breakfast! Lifts van of dying kitten! Wins love of dreamgirl!” sappage that mentally gets you when you are subjet to it’s actual presents. Shame on my swelling mid-section. Truth is Sharks never get fat. They want you to get fat. Eating freshwater “hormonally-retarded” human food. Sharks….you are fiends.