Who do you think he's working for - your country or your imprisoned cows and chickens?
I’ve been saying this for some time now – not out loud, or online, of course, because they might be listening – that when the Great Animal Uprising finally occurs, squirrels will play a key role. Think about it: they’re everywhere, nobody pays much attention to them, and yet they’re capable of causing massive power blackouts.
I mean really, did they expect I wouldn’t notice the circumstances of this incident? Normally, if a branch or some debris or, yes, a squirrel falls on a power line, there’s a process in place to deal with that, but workers were just about to do some work in that area, so the protective override was in place, which of course is the perfect time to strike.
Still think I’m joking? Here’s some news of a busted squirrel spy ring. And more cutesy-wootsy pictures. These guys mean business!
In my area, we’ve got a lot of black squirrels, which I gather aren’t found in many other parts of the world where grey and brown are more common. I’ve heard that they’re a more aggressive species that are forcing out the other types by getting the food faster, but my theory is that they’re the foot soldiers of the Animal Uprising Army.
Which would put me right in the midst of their training camp. I know posts have been sporadic here, but from this day forward, if I miss a few days in a row, don’t think I’m slacking; wonder instead if I’ve been taken.
Taken for what purpose, I don’t know, but in case they’re reading, I for one certainly welcome our nut-chomping overlords. Seriously, everyone goes to zombie movies, but the next Food Inc style picture needs to be a modern rendition of Animal Farm so the populace can learn how to handle it. Hint: continuing to eat dead animals isn’t the best way to win friends and influence people.
