Someday I'll be able to link 'recall' with 'it's not a tumor'
The veganiverse is all a-fluffered* with talk of the massive egg recall, which now appears to affect 380 million eggs. I don’t know how many might still be out there, since the US Food Safety and Inspection Service recommends people eat eggs within three to five weeks of purchase, and the issue occurred in May.
In other words, if you’re still holding onto an egg from the start of the outbreak, recall or no recall, I’m not sure anyone wants it back.
To be fair, the outbreak started then, but has presumably continued for some time, so there’s probably value in a recall beyond poking the producer with the ol’ “law stick.” But that’s not really what I want to talk about today anyway.
There are many ways to replace an egg in cooking, and yet eggs continue to be sold in very large quantities, so as deep thinking activists of the Institution for Innovation in Innovative Innovation, we (meaning I, because you can’t spell innovation without I, but there are two Is, so you can help too) sat down and thought about what people must be using those eggs for.
Obviously, it’s protest.
There was a time when a whole lot of people spent the weekend protesting something (I think it was the NATO bombing of Yugoslavia) where the US embassy in Toronto was egged beyond belief. I’m not kidding, the walls went from smooth concrete to stucco, and the designer protesters in the crowd injected paint into some of the eggs, so it really was quite striking.
And that’s when it hit me. Not an egg (ewww,) but an idea:
The Vegg.
Some kind of biodegradable shell (from corn, perhaps) with a gooey centre that could be used in place of an actual egg in protests, because while we don’t condone violence, it seems absurd for an animal rights protester to use actual eggs to complain about the treatment of chickens, for example. Not that that’s ever happened, but as I mentioned in yesterday’s porncast, I haven’t been sleeping much.
Anyway, this device doesn’t exist, and I’ve since moved on from the concept, but part of me, the really insane part, wonders if this egg recall could have been avoided if I’d only gotten off my butt and innovated innovatively.
In other related news, here’s the money quote from the original article that sparked this whole post:
With all the various studies linking animal product consumption to just about every disease out there, when do you think someone in charge will notice that people are getting sick from those too? I eagerly await the announcement of all animal foods produced since, well, ever.
* (I don’t think that means what I want it to mean)
