by Jason on April 13, 2010
I know I said I wasn’t going to just post things and whine about the way of the world, and I’m staying true to that, so stay tuned for the Rest Of The Story, but first, here’s something that looks a lot like whining: tasers tested on sheep.
That’s right, in the scientific study, which was partially funded by Taser International, and conducted in part by two physicians who represent medical consultants and stockholders of the company, and oh, one of those two is also Taser International’s medical director, but anyway, in this impartial, quintuple-blind, completely above board study, scienticians got some sheep hopped up on meth and then tasered them.
Less sensational parts include that the sheep were anesthetized at the time of the tasering, and the sheep survived the process, but I don’t know if they were killed and autopsied afterwards. As for hypothetical parts of the study, I have plenty: I don’t know if “in the balls” was a part of the impartial scientific process that the researchers used to explore their inner demons or not. It’s possible, but unlikely, that one of the researchers wet himself during the procedure, thinking at first it was an orgasm (he did moan “Ethel!” at that exact moment,) but then realizing the smell and volume of liquid was different. I could go on, but this is just venting over animal testing and I have a point to make, however mild.
Think about what this means if veganism ever becomes an official religion-like thing that’s subject to legal bits about discrimination and rights (which I’m opposed to, for reasons I won’t go into here): we could make it against the law to taser vegans, what with the abstention from animal testing and all. I don’t know how this would work, exactly; some kind of brightly coloured garment would have to be worn, probably, but I never suspected that my compassionate choices would also potentially net me an “opt out” from any taser actions in the future!
(via jwz)
When it comes to stories about animals, some people might get the impression that we’re all about the gay penguins, but it’s simply not true: we eagerly scan the news every morning for news of other interesting animal behaviours, be they sexual behaviours or not, ’cause hey, animals are more than just meat. Today just happens to be a gay flamingo kind of day. Carlos and Fernando have adopted an abandoned chick in a Bristol zoo, after six years of pleading with authorities and attempting to steal eggs. The placement was put together by the birds’ captors after an abandoned egg was discovered, and everyone seems happy, except for the whole living in a cage thing. Same-sex flamingo pairings are apparently pretty common in flocks where there aren’t enough birds of the opposite sex. I don’t know if this news in itself would be enough to make anyone reconsider their diet, but if if instead of spending all their “animal research” time learning the right ratio of, say, lemon to pepper in an animal-based recipe, people actually tried learning about the activities, personalities, and habits of the animals they’re eating, it might form a more interesting debate around the dinner table. (Er, not that many people eat flamingo, but the story was too good a match for our primary URL…)
Flux has been scouting out the latest and greatest in legal news for us, and now we can all read about the quest to grant legal person-hood to a chimpanzee in Austria. The campaign is trying to get some degree of legal protection for Hiasl, a 26 year old chimpanzee, who would then be able to receive personal donations and gain protection from, say, someone buying him and moving him to a country with fewer animal protection laws. The push for rights stops before Hiasl gets the ability to vote, which I hear is really pissing off the Bananas Party, but the case, if successful, would lead to some interesting future developments in animal rights. We already grant tons of rights to things called corporations, and I’m not saying good or bad things about that, just saying, is all, but if a virtual entity has been able to collect money and protect itself from danger for a bazillion years before they invented Second Life, maybe it’s time to look at the rights for living creatures from the same perspective.
by Jason on April 30, 2007
The “there’s no connection between violence and videogames” people aren’t getting much help from Sony, as indicated in a story from queervegan. The entertainment and electronics giant recently held a launch party for the God Of War II video game that featured, among other things, a freshly slaughtered goat. Guests were reportedly invited to stick their hands into the goat’s still-warm stomach and eat offal. To make sure the message was clear, Sony published photos of the event, complete with images of the goat’s head hanging by a few stray tendons in their Playstation magazine (the magazine has apparently since been recalled.)
I think Sony realized a long time ago that they can’t possibly piss consumers off enough to make a dent in sales – they’ve been charged with price-fixing CDs, posting fake reviews of movies, installing spyware on customers’ computers, and now slaughtering animals for product promotion, but people still want to listen to the latest Modest Mouse CD or watch Spiderman 3 or enjoy their new big screen television. Watch for Sony’s entry into the seal hunt any day now.
by Jason on April 16, 2007
Apropos of nothing: I woke up sometime last night, mildly feverish, with the thought that the phrase “too good to be true” ought to have a reverse of “too true to be good.” I just wanted to remember that.
Anyway, graham sends word of what might just be the worst zoo in the universe, and not just because the headline likens the way they raise tigers to the way farmers raise battery hens (aside, and possibly related to the neverending debate over the good-idea-ness of eliminating batter cages, is it possible that the concept has sufficently permeated mass culture for battery cages to be the new black?)
We’re talking live (assisted) slaughter of cattle by tigers, monkeys riding camels, and bears riding bicycles on high wires. I know, I know, it’s all an attempt to recreate the animals’ natural habitat, but in this zoo, the bears ride their bikes on the high wire without a safety net, which they never do in the wild.
Incidentally, the zoo is in China, and as it’s possible that China will be moving to lift the ban on the sale of tiger products, this zoo is allegedly planning for the future with a lot of big freezers to stock up on inventory for the big eventual payday.
by Jason on March 21, 2007
The union representing Montreal prison guards was taught a brief lesson in proper working conditions after the SPCA removed a donkey who was being used as a prop in a recent protest. And yes, the protest concerned working conditions for the guards. I’m guessing the donkey didn’t have union papers, either, since when the SPCA inquired as to who was in charge of the animal, nobody spoke up. The donkey is now living on a farm, and the union may face some sort of charges, though it’s doubtful anything else will come of the matter.
by Jason on March 19, 2007
While reading about an animal cruelty indicent in London, Ontario, it struck me that we need a new SPCA – the Society for Pronouns Concerning Animals. Seriously, I’m glad for the work that the group does (to be technical, in this case, it was the OSPCA, with the O for Ontario), but when I see quotes from senior inspectors like “The foot was bent back and that was how it was walking… And that was so bad a veterinarian had to euthanize it,” well, just what is it that they’re protecting? Isn’t the objectification of animals one of the things that can lead to cruelty and neglect? I’m no farmer, but I reckon that the sex of a pony shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. This always bugs me when I read news reports, but when it comes from an animal protection group, I mean, come on…
by Jason on March 15, 2007
It is Thursday, and I’m in no mood for disturbing stories. I mean come on, who wants to read about some asshat who sent a teen girl her dog’s head in a box on a Thursday? I’d rather read about a pig who was hired by a zoo to take care of three tiger cubs. Yes, “hired” is a weird choice of words when discussing a zoo, but I’m trying to distance myself from the evil news. The cubs were abandoned by their mother, so zoo officials bought a pig who had just given birth (and her piglets) and put them in with the tigers. Everyone’s getting along famously, and there are pictures. Pigs are so awesome. Link.
by Jason on February 13, 2007
Porphyry reports that the state of New Mexico might be the next one to ban cockfighting, which would leave Louisiana as the last state standing in the cruel-o-rama. Pro-cockfighting forces are contending that the only reason this is even up for debate is because state Governor Richardson, who recently stepped up and spoke out against cockfighting, wants to be president. That’s right, cockfighters are arguing that the only reason they’re under attack this time is because the silly people of the United States recognize that this “sport” is cruel and barbaric, and nobody in their right mind would want someone in favour of it to be running the country. Oh, and if that argument didn’t sway you, apparently you’re a racist. Strangely, nobody ever argues that cockfighting helps develop critical thinking skills. Link.
by Jason on February 12, 2007
megatron notes that Zoocheck Canada has started pointing out something that may have escaped the notice of Canadian zoos: elephants are not indigenous to this country, and in fact it gets a lot colder up here than it does in, say, Africa. The group isn’t just saying this, they brought in a renowned African elephant expert and surveyed several zoos before making the request that Canadian zoos stop their breeding programs and move their elephants to sanctuaries in warmer climates. Given the recent cold snap, now would be a good time to call your local facility and ask them about the temperature difference. Link.
