I’m going through a bunch of stuff from Mom’s basement this week, and it’s sparking all sorts of memories, and how messed up is it that I can turn anything into a vegan reference?
Take the Shogun Warriors for instance. They were a toy line from Mattel, and I was looking for a good image, but then I realized that it’s 2010, and that means we have access to TV commercials from the 1970′s. THEY HAVE ROCKET NIPPLES!
Further trivia is that in Quebec, which is where the memory came from, they went by the name Goldorak, and there is of course a Wikipedia page, but that’s where the veganization kicks in: someone in the 70′s had it in for us. Check it:
“The Vegans establish a base on the dark side of the moon and start to attack Earth from there.”
“After a fierce battle, they finally manage to destroy the Vegan mothership along with King Vega himself.”
Oh, sorry: forgot to say spoiler alert.
The planet/people confusion was actually one of the first things I ever wrote about on VP, back in May of 2001. Of course, the links are long dead (AltaVista keeps refusing to die, though) so it’s time for a refresher: this site contains no space alien pornography.
These have been in my bookmarks forever. Now they are in your brain:
Do you like avocados? Do you like watching fan-submitted videos about avocados? Were you one of the people who made a video about avocados? YouTube is proof that the internet will never be full.
Behold the “Are you an Avodisiac?” Video contest! Which is over, so I’m sorry you can’t enter (but it probably won’t stop you from trying, because it is a disease,) but the bright side is that you can watch the entries. Some of which took a lot of work, but there was cash money on the line, and hey, if you’re going to make a video about something, why not make it a confessional about your forbidden love, or maybe just a weird adventure tale?
And no, I didn’t hold onto the link until the contest ended just so I could have a better chance at winning. No, I didn’t even enter. The world isn’t ready for my genius yet, but someday Mr. Scorsese is going to respond to at least one of the daily letters I send him, sealed with avocado guts… Wait, what?
In other avocado news, you can subscribe to an avocado of the month club. I think it works out to ten dollars a pound, which seems like a lot, but I like how there are so many different “of the month” clubs. When I was a child you were lucky to find a TV Guide of the month club. They called them subscriptions then. I don’t know what the phone bill of the month club is called these days. It tastes terrible.
Going further, yes further, I’m going to mention Monty’s Avocado before Colleen does.
Now find me more avocado links. My bookmark bar looks so empty…
Dave Noisy sent in the latest from The Onion: Dog Breeders Issue Massive Recall Of ’07 Pugs, citing quality control concerns. Of course, we all know that The Onion’s front page is satirical and not at all indicative of future trends, right? I mean, it’s not like any of their crazy stories actually come true, right?
Totally stolen from Alyce’s recent TVP submission (nyah nyah, daily schedule beats weekly schedule, or hey, I’ll scoop myself if that’s what it takes), there’s an election going down somewhere in Virginia where voters will get to choose between the incumbent (who has run unopposed for the past 12 years) and a ham sandwich. Mr Sandwich isn’t actually on the ballot – the campaign is a write-in thingerwhatzit – so this candidate could in theory run anywhere that write-ins are allowed, but this gives little comfort to vegan voters (though having “Dillon Pikkel” as a campaign manager is pretty cool). If you’re looking for a vegan-er approach to democracy, a similar campaign ran in 2000 involving a politicized army of ficus plants. I imagine we’ll have some goofy discussions on the matter this Saturday, so if you’d like to contribute to the conversation, the comments would be a good place to do it.
Attack of the Sprouts is some good mindless fun for about 3 minutes. I wouldn’t count on getting more than 3 minutes out of it, but that’s three more minutes of mindless fun than you had just a short while ago, isn’t it? That’s right: you all owe me. Bwah ha ha. (I actually like sprouts…)
How’s your Monday going? Would it help if you played with a cat right about now? ‘Cause Magic Stones sent in the greatest cat simulator the world has ever seen. I know, the world’s most accurate simulator would probably just be a picture of a cat that ignored you, but this one’s more interactive, and it makes me laugh. Enjoy!
Enough with stories of death and abuse! Did anyone else miss kunsjoi and his submissions of great photos? I know I did, so I’m super happy to see this latest spread of edible art. The mushroom one probably wins the creativity AND most disturbing awards, but that’s just my take. We need to have a food styling contest of some sort, yeah? Start thinking about it…
OK, so as everyone likely knows by now, which means there’s no reason to add another link to it, the interweb was abuzz a month or so ago after the amazing revelation that soy makes you gay. Everyone immediately knew it was true because one guy said so without directly referencing any medical literature. Well, we’ve got a rebuttal of approximately the same academic level, thanks to julepandme: it’s not soy that’s making people gay, it’s Nickleback and Frank Sinatra. And no, I wouldn’t post this unless I thought it was satire or if I didn’t think it would evoke a mental image in at least one of you of Frank and Nickleback getting it on. Mission… accomplished. Link.
If you’re still struggling with a dairy addiction, The Onion might have the cure with their latest headline, courtesy of Dave Noisy: “Dairy Company Introduces Lots-Of-Pulp Milk.” Link.
