Pornography

Boing Boing has a story on porn for pandas, and while it’s not a new idea, there’s lots of information here. Not only do pandas in captivity have incredibly low libidos, but the theory in this case is that 4-year old Hua Mei just hasn’t been around sex enough to know what to do. She’s got a selection of videos, and she’s also been to some live shows. Let’s just hope she likes the stuff: it looks like it’ll continue until she’s pregnant.

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You know, it wasn’t that long ago that a photo of a mushroom like this one would have gotten all fungi branded as immoral foods of the devil. These days, there’s probably a whole lot of venture capital money to anyone who can figure out a way to mass produce fruits and vegetables that look like naked people. See, not all change should be feared! (Thanks, zpenguin!)

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By the time you’re reading this, I’m in another country, but don’t be sad, because we’ve got very excited stuffed animals to cheer you up, as submitted by Zed!

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zpenguin sent in a link to Britain’s Rudest Tomato, and yeah, it’s a pretty ride tomato, but why isn’t it the world’s rudest tomato? Sweet tofu, what else is out there?

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Does porn get more vegan than this? On second thought, don’t answer that. “A picture of a plant having sex has won top prize in a scientific art competition,” as reported here.

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Once again, the submissions queue is getting the best of me, but fear not, plans are in place to spurt some entries out like, well, like a spurting thing. Hey, that reminds me, did you know that there’s an amusement park north of Copenhagen that sells penis lollipops? Well, they don’t anymore, because park officials have declared them to be “tasteless”. That might be an aesthetic judgement, or possibly a flavour call, but as the treats are getting, er, pulled, we may never know. Balancing out the “vegan” and the “porn”, it’s too late to worry about whether the sugar in the pops was filtered through bone char, or if they had a (dairy based?) creamy filling… (Thanks, VeganMegan!)

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It’s employment month at VP, and sometimes when you go to a job interview they give you these puzzles or brain teasers that they tell you will help them assess your thinking skills and/or determine if you’re a sociopath. It’s best to study as much as you can, so I’ve been scouring the web looking for practice exams. Of course, this is Vegan Porn, so we need to tie everything back to at least one of the words in the site’s title. I believe that Man Milk or Moo Milk works for both. This probably isn’t safe for work – even if all of the answers were “moo milk”, there’s, um, a song. (via The Reverse Cowgirl’s Blog)

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Sometimes it’s hard to scan the VP submissions queue; there’s the risk of starting each day with disturbing, disgusting stuff. There are some perks though, like when Lola sends in a crotch shot. All in all, it’s a good life.

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Rosemary has discovered what could actually be described as vegan porn. Well, vegan erotica, anyway, but check out the title: “Vegan Lesbian Boarding School Hookers in Bondage“. You don’t need to click on that link; the title’s the best part. Trust me. The story can also be found in The Best of the Best Meat Erotica, which appears to be decidedly non-vegan. You know, when “vegan porn” started showing up in my search logs, I thought people were actually looking for this site…

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