Spin

Jennypoo‘s user name brought almost as big a smile to my face as her submission did: soft drink manufacturers are getting out of the soda business. Oh, they’ll still be making the same stuff, but in the future (oh, the glorious future!), they’ll be called “sparkling beverages” and, just like sugary cereal does, they’ll be working on fortifying their drinks with added vitamins. You know, one of these days the sugar companies will wise up and just start adding vitamins at the source, which will be weird. Anyway, the drink companies are stuck in a weird place, insisting that their diet drinks are part of a healthy diet (does this remind anyone of the McLibel testimony where a VP said pop was nutritious because it contained water?), but the general public tends to view diet pop as anything but natural. Clearly, adding more chemicals to the mix will fix the problem. What’s your soft drink consumption like? Link.

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Peter sent word that the Australian government is planning on changing their laws so that the Australian Consumer and Competition Commission (ACCC) can go after groups like PETA who organize boycotts against products or organizations. In PETA’s case, it’s in response to their campaign against Merino wool, which is produced using a process called mulesing, which involves ripping a strip of skin off of the sheep. That’s right, Australia wants their farmers to be compensated if it turns out nobody wants to buy their products. They’d also like a new rattle and a fresh bottle. I was looking up government responses to other boycotts in the past, and it turns out that this isn’t an uncommon reaction, or at least it wasn’t 50 years ago. Hey Australia, we’ve got this internet thing now, try pulling your heads out of your butts and recognize that consumers’ right to make informed buying decisions outweighs your farmers’ rights to make money through nasty practices like mulesing. Link.

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You know how some omni cookbooks at least nod in the vegetarian or vegan direction by listing the substitutions necessary to take the kill out of cooking? Today, I am the spotter of the anti-trend. I don’t read a lot of cookbooks, but this may be a first: The Modern Ayurvedic Cookbook is a vegetarian cookbook, except for one little detail: “There also are suggested meat substitutions for non-vegetarians (Ayurveda is not exclusively vegetarian, although this book is).” Now, one could look at it as a loss of ground, with meat starting to seep into the veggie stock, as it were, or you could write it off as a basic attempt to increase a book’s audience, but I think there’s an alternate vision that could work here – what if this is the future, where healthy vegetarian meals take center stage and meat eating is destined to be marginalized like it’s the smoking section in the cookbooks of tomorrow? Thoughts? Link.

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Nicole dropped me a note that (go vegan) suggests McDonald’s is running subliminal advertising on the Food Network. It’s more likely (go vegan) that this is some kind of editing or broadcast mistake, but if you need another reason to be angry at the arches, go ahead. My (go vegan) personal theory: since it’s the “Food” network and we’re talking about McD’s, advertising policy would (go vegan) only allow a single frame of content before the network would risk (go vegan) losing their license for stepping too far out of their mandate. Link.

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Buried within an article about the pervasiveness of advertising, Dave Noisy found a reference to a failed dairy ad campaign. Yes, after years of searching, the “Got Milk?” people finally found the “line” and bravely crossed it. Was it some spin on dairy and weight loss that conveniently ignores dairy’s levels of saturated fat? Another play on the public’s fear of osteoporosis despite the puzzling fact that osteoporosis is common among milk drinkers? Yet another bukake-like picture of a celebrity with foamy white stuff on their lips? No, it was the smell. The California milk processing board infiltrated San Francisco bus stops with the smell of freshly baked cookies, and that was finally enough for everyone. But hey, maybe it was just a defensive maneuver – just imagine what the anti-dairy side could do with advertisements that give off odors. Link.

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As longtime VP readers know, the Center for Consumer Freedom is a lobbyist group that works for bars and restaurants to keep minimum wages low, drunk driving thresholds high, and animal rights and health groups marginalized. Today they’re working for me. As rosemary notes, they’re terrified of the upcoming Charlotte’s Web movie, and have written a post detailing all the many reasons why the publicity campaign is so awesome. Well, from my perspective anyway. For them, it’s kind of like a guy who won’t listen to a female singer/songwriter because he’s worried he’ll “catch gay,” only it’s the CCF, a kids’ movie, and animal compassion. And now, without further ado, here’s the link.

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Wow, people really have issues with gay penguins! There’s a picture book out there called And Tango Makes Three that’s based on the true story about a gay penguin couple in New York who adopted a baby penguin, and people across America are complaining to libraries and schools about the book’s proximity to children. To their credit, librarians are mostly sticking to their guns, with some moving it to the nonfiction section. In this day and age, I can’t believe that parents are afraid their children are going to read this book and then grow up to be penguins, but there you go. Link.

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Dave Noisy reports that New Brunswick elementary schools recently did a little of that “outside the box” thinking that was a little more “outside of their frigging minds.” The latest addition to the schools’ physical education program? Ronald McDonald. For the past few months, Ronald has been giving talks about healthy living to elementary students. This happened in the same school district that was the first in the province to ban junk food from cafeterias and vending machines, and apparently McD’s got past the district administration by approaching the schools directly, who apparently didn’t know any better, what with being centres of knowledge and all. After news got out, the province shut the program down, although the schools will continue to participate in a McDonald’s sponsored fitness program which supplies gym equipment.
Link to the hiring, link to the firing.

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Magic Stones sent word of a Chinese freckle removing system that recently had to pull some ads which claimed the product was so effective, it could remove the freckles from fish. I don’t know what’s up with the fish aesthetics movement; we’ve been seeing a bit too much activity on that front lately if you ask me. Anyway, it turns out that the product (which is a gel, and not some crazy robot like I first imagined) not only removed the freckles from the fish, but it killed them a few days later. While decomposition does remove many features from a corpse, Chinese officials felt that this was a bit over the top, especially in light of the fact that the product also caused rashes and blisters on humans. This may be the first product I’ve noted that uses animal testing as a key feature in its marketing, which of course sucks, but I’ve got to give a big fat “what did you think would happen” award to anyone who’s still seeking this stuff out over the interweb. Link.

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