Magic Stones sends news of snakes on a plane. You know, despite all the hooplah around the movie, I never saw it, but I gather that there were a lot of snakes in the film, and they were on a plane. Moving over to real life, someone tried to bring 700 snakes onto a plane recently, only to be stopped by customs officers, who really don’t appreciate movie fanboys enough, ya know? In this case, the objective was smuggling. We reported on another snake/plane smuggling event awhile back involving 8 snakes in pants, but apparently Mr. 700 snakes wasn’t hardcore enough and opted for a carry-on bag instead. Wimp.
by Jason on April 12, 2007
OK everyone, gather round, we’ve got an important update – apparently hunting is done. No more hunters anymore. Well, in Idaho, anyway. They’re called “sport shooters” now, if the article sent in by Sardonicus is anything to go by. Idaho has a massive federal preserve where guns are supposedly off limits, but with only 2 agents to patrol the area and relatively low fines for those who get caught, hunters, er, I mean sport shooters are regularly flaunting the laws. So what’s the difference between hunting and sport shooting? When I was younger I would have guessed that it would have involved skeet or a row of tin cans or something, but it turns out that the next generation of hunting takes aim at anything that moves, from ground squirrels to cattle to – wait for it – National Guard troops on training exercises. That’s right, the troops are reporting slugs bouncing off of their tanks on a regular basis. So there you have it. In other news, the guy beating up his wife is a sport pugilist, that glutton at the buffet is actually a sport eater and as for me, well, you can just call me a sport dumbass-pointer-outer.
by Jason on April 4, 2007
AimeeLeigh79 reports that an Alabama woman has been charged with driving under the influence. This isn’t a huge news item by itself, but again, it’s all about the details. She was “driving” a horse at the time. While most coverage of these kinds of stories focus on the quirks of traffic law, it’s important to note that the horse had a lousy time of it (at one point he or she was made to “ram” a police car, and I have no idea how this would work, but it doesn’t sound good), and even more importantly, authorities did lay cruelty to animals charges against the meth-head, among a zillion other charges. There’s no word on where the horse is now, but hopefully someone had the sense to take him or her into some form of protective custody.
by Jason on January 8, 2007
It’s a weird, weird news day, I tell you, starting with Magic Stones‘ tale of prison cannibalism. Nicolas Cocaigne was serving a four year sentence in France for sexual assault when he decided to kill his cellmate and, according to early reports, eat his heart. Further investigation showed that the heart was still intact, but some chest muscle and part of a lung are missing, so Cocaigne is being charged with cannibalism as well as with murder. While our heart goes out sympathies are with the family of the deceased, this serves as a warning that if you’re going to prison and want to encourage veganism on the inside, you might want to strap some gluten to your chest as a precaution. Link.
by Jason on December 11, 2006
girl antlered sends word of the next big piece of hunting technology that everyone simply has to have to keep up. It’s not enough to have blinds, decoys, calls, and specially scented hunting clothes – now you need a helicopter to keep up. I don’t think there’s been a report of someone shooting from a helicopter, but what has been happening for the past few years is that a party would locate a moose from the helicopter, then the designated shooter would land and track the moose down. Well, “track” is a bit strong. The ‘copter would hover overhead and use its propeller’s wind and noise to drive the moose towards the waiting shooter, who would then put down his Blackberry and take the shot. This is all illegal (the hunters didn’t even have permits), but it hasn’t stopped it from going on for the past 3 years. Those caught face fines of up to $255K and their $1.5M helicopter has been seized. While this is an extreme example of the problem, poaching isn’t isolated – Quebec issues 7000 to 9000 poaching violations every year. Link.
by Jason on December 7, 2006
darrek sent in news of the new fad that’s sweeping America: pig tossing. Kevin Pugh has been charged with disturbing the peace (but not animal cruelty) after he threw a live pig over the counter of a Holiday Inn (the pig wasn’t seriously hurt). He claims it was done as a prank, and intoxication wasn’t a factor (although being 20 years old may have been). This is the fourth animal tossing incident to occur in the area – two involved pigs, two involved possums, and two of those four involved Kevin. I’ve done some searches on YouTube, and while nothing’s shown up as of yet, it’s inevitable in the age of Jackass. Guys (let’s face it, it’s always guys), if you want to lead the field of emerging culture while showing sensitivity to animals, try stabbing yourself in the crotch on video. Sure, it’ll destroy your chances of reproducing, but you’ll be, like, internet famous. Link.
by Jason on October 23, 2006
A few years back in Canada, we had a TV show called Talking to Americans where a comedian would get Americans to congratulate Canada, either for doing things that were ridiculous (like preserving our national igloo) or for coming out of the stone age by “just recently” enacting changes that the rest of the world adopted centuries ago (like switching to the 24 hour day). I only wish I was being duped by AimeeLeigh79‘s submission, which prompted a “congratulations, Washington, on making bestiality a felony.” Yep, it took them this long to do it, and I can’t believe there are still 13 states out there that don’t prohibit sex with animals. The law was enacted after a man died in Seattle from complications involving sex with a horse, and the first charges have been layed against a man who was caught (by his wife) having sex with his pit bull terrier. Congratulations again, Washington. Now we just need to get the other 13 to wake up.
Link.
by Jason on October 17, 2006
A Minnesota K-12 school principal has resigned and is facing possible felony charges after he took it upon himself to “spare” two kittens from starving to death after their mother had died by shooting them. Since he did this on school property, he’s facing some charges for his actions (apparently guns at school are mildly discouraged), but the spin has thus far been entirely related to safety issues with little attention to the fact that the guy went and shot and killed two kittens. For his part, now-ex-principal Wade Pilloud claims that his past as a former cat breeder should demonstrate that he’s not a cat hater, but I think we’ve seen enough of how objective the guy can be. Link.
by Jason on September 28, 2006
Rosemary notes that the excuses that were used when caught with drugs from days of yore are obselete. “I was just holding it,” “it’s medicinal,” and “I don’t know how that got in my colon” are phrases of the past now, a.k.a. old and busted compared to the new hotness of “it’s not for me, it’s for my cow.” A 55 year old Polish woman has been charged with cultivating narcotics, but she insists she only grew them for her cow, who is a bit skittish without regular doses of marijuana. Link.
by Jason on September 19, 2006
Sometimes it’s hard to pick a category for a story, and when it’s a call between “Animal Rights” and “Stupid Crime” I get tempted to come up with a new one that’s just 30 or 40 swear words, but alas, that would further damage our fragile layout. Floodfish reports that a Pittsburgh motorist did much more than induce my categorizing angst when he tried to evade a DUI checkpoint by feeding crack cocaine to his puppy. Yeah. The dog’s going to be fine, although it’ll be up to animal control to decide where she’ll end up. The fine upstanding member of the crack cocaine community has been charged with something or other that can’t possibly measure up to what he did. Link.
